It's about the vagaries and difficulties of love. I've dated a lot of women, more than 55 at last count. And one of them was an ex-hooker. I didn't mind her wealth of sexual experience, but I did think she was unstable.
As part of this memoir, I'm asking friends if they would date a porn star. This also comes up in regards to Hugh Hefner, who seems to have made a lifelong career out of using women and being used by them.
The question really is about the authentic life. How important are honesty, integrity, boundaries and general mental health to a relationship?
The ex-hooker was angry, volatile, and unfaithful. We went together for two years. We broke up and got back together seven times. When we finally called it quits, I asked her how many other men she had been involved with during that two years, and she said, "Oh, about ten."
In other words, she was sleeping around. I think she kept a lot of men on the string and manipulated them with sex. Including me.
All in all, it was not a happy experience.
One of my worst fears, living in L.A., is that I might meet a nice, attractive woman and date her and get to like her and then find out she had been a porn star.
Not because she had a past, with other men, but because of the mental health implications.
Would you date someone who was a former porn star? Or who had committed a serious crime? Someone who had been in prison? A murderer? A drug addict? Someone who had accidentally run over a child?
Where would you draw the line?
To me, a porn star would by definition have serious boundary issues. Having sex with strangers for money implies a denigration of self, I would say. A lack of integrity and self respect.
I have asked four of my buddies, and they all say it would not bother them.
I find that startling, a remarkable lack of awareness.
What about you? Would you date a porn star?
-- Roger
© Copyright 2011, Roger R. Angle
No comments:
Post a Comment