The right wingers hate that. Healthcare? Hell, we don't need that. We can fend for ourselves. Can't we?
All this raises a question: What is a true conservative?
Ah, I'm glad you asked. I have only known one true conservative, an old man I met years ago in the high, remote mountains of Colorado.
This old man, "Dag" people called him, sat on his front porch with a shotgun in one hand and a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the other.
Dag grew his own vegetables, and if you even looked at them, he would shoot you and bury your body in the garden to fertilize his tomatoes.
He kept chickens and goats and sheep in the back yard. He broke and rode wild horses. He climbed mountains, although he walked with a cane. He dived off cliffs into cold mountain lakes and swam like a fish, although he hated fish.
He hadn't been with a woman in years. He considered them too wimpy. Hell, he didn't need a woman. That's why he kept the sheep. He had his favorite, Suzie, and he liked her because she never talked back. And her feet were never cold.
He had appendicitis one time, and lacking healthcare or access to doctors, he looked it up online and operated on himself with a jackknife. He sewed himself up with burlap twine. Then he took a slug of Jack and pronounced himself well.
In the winter, he hunted deer for food, and in the summer he fought grizzly bears with his bare hands. He always said if he lost, "Leave it the hell alone." He told his few friends, "Don't intervene. I don't believe in any damn regulation."
As far as I know, he is still up there. "Dag" was short for "dagnabbit," which was his favorite word. I hope he will live up there forever, resisting the damn gumint.
Old Dag never asked for help from anyone, and he wouldn't take it, no matter what. I doubt if he would think much of Mitt Romney or his healthcare law. Not conservative enough for Dag.
Long live old Dag, the only true conservative I ever met.
--Roger
© Copyright 2011, Roger R. Angle
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