I'm tired of hearing about God.
I'm tired of hearing that "everything happens for a reason."
Bull.
A child gets run over in the street.
What's the reason for that?
I'm tired of seeing football players and baseball players point to the heavens when they make a touchdown or hit a home-run or win a game.
Bull. God had nothing to do with it.
Do they think God prevented a tackle or guided the ball or choose the Angels over the Dodgers?
Why would God do that?
Doesn't God have bigger problems to solve?
I'm tired of reading about the Pope as if he had a direct pipeline to God.
I'm tired of churches and synagogues and prayers and worship services and Sunday mass and midnight mass and Sunday school and the Bible as the word of God.
I'm sick of hearing that bull.
Believe me, fellow earthlings, here on earth, God's work must truly be our own.
No one else is to going do it.
Don't wait on Jesus, my friends, he isn't coming.
Not to my house or your house.
Not to any church or mosque or synagogue we know.
Not any time soon.
Don't hold your breath.
As the Arabs say, "Believe in Allah, but tie up your camel."
Amen to that. Allah is not going to retrieve your camel if it is stolen or wanders off into the desert at night.
Jesus isn't going to prevent you from getting a ticket if you run a red light, especially if it has one of those camera things on it.
Doesn't matter how much you pray. Or how many gods you pray to. Or to which God.
God isn't going to take that test or attend those classes for you.
God isn't going to pay your credit-card bills or pay off your mortgage or ask that pretty girl out on a date.
You can believe in as many religions as you want, and you can listen to the preachers all you want, but none of that is going to do you any good.
You might feel better about yourself and kid yourself that you are now a better person than you were before.
Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but all those prayers and all those church services and all that tithing and all those televangelists and all those preachers and ministers and saints aren't going to save your worthless keister or tukas or derriere.
The only one who can save your worthless rear end is you.
Welcome to the real world.
You might as well pray to a ham sandwich.
Lettuce pray.
Add mustard and mayonnaise.
And some cheese.
2 comments:
Camera thingies... LOL!!!
Roger, again, you are a voice for the truth. And I feel as you do: I'm sick of prayer groups, thank the lord for this or that, and bumper stickers like "Act like a man, get on your knees and pray." WTF?
The great George Carlin said he worshipped the sun but prayed to Joe Pesci because he got about the same odds of his prayer coming to fruition!
You could worship lettuce and pray to the pig! About the same thingie.
This is from my friend Cindy in New Mexico:
Yup, it's pretty good. When I was still in HS and my friends had graduated the year before, I was at one of their houses and they'd all come from some church service from the new Calvary chapel in Costa Mesa. Anyway, they were saying that Jesus was going to give them everything. They then decided to get some ice cream but no one had any money. And the smart mouth I am said, "I thought Jesus was going to pay for it."
-- Cindy
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