SUMO GOLF?

You have got to be kidding.
Golf has been admitted to the Olympics?
Why? Golf isn't even a real sport. Sure, it takes great concentration and skill, but so does cooking an omelet. So does making love. So does bridge. OK, it takes more physical skill, and Tiger Woods looks like he works out.
But golf?
Ridiculous.
Pretty soon every physical skill will be in the Olympics.
What about billiards?
Bowling?
Miniature golf?
Where do you draw the line?
I don't think archery should be in, or badminton, or table tennis, or handball, or synchronized swimming, or sailing. All those are in now. They don't seem right either.
If we're going to have golf, what about competitive eating?
The most hotdogs, or the most tacos, or the most pancakes?
What about competitive singing? American Idol?
Ballroom dancing? Those people certainly sweat.
Writing? A poetry slam?
I think golf might work if you combined it with a real sport. How about sumo golf, with those big sumo wrestlers playing golf and fighting on the greens?
That would be fun to watch.
And it would be a real sport.

OBAMA FOR PEACE!

It was amazing today. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. I was shocked at first. I even laughed out loud.
And then I thought about it.
Yes, it was undeserved. He hasn't done anything yet.
But on the other hand, it was wonderful.
Because he represents hope.
Our new president spreads hope around the world.
Hope for peace.
Hope for a rational and non-ideological approach to the world's problems.
Hope for Israel and the Palestinians.
Hope for the starving Africans.
Hope for Arabs and Asians, hope for Muslims and Christians and Jews.
Hope for a peaceful resolution to the conflicts between immigrants and their reluctant hosts in Europe.
Hope for an end to racism.
Hope for an end to senseless wars.
Hope for a stronger economy.
Hope for the world's environment.
Hope for a better way and a break from the past.
Now let the real work begin.